What is Really Fair In Love And War?
by ChaotikElement
Summary: For slight cursing, but otherwise nothing major. What do you get when Naruto is bored about a month before White Day & comes up w an idea to trick the girls of Konohagure, dragging the guys into it too? Disaster, Confusion & Chaos (pairs may develop)
1. The Plan

Me: A very spontaneous and random fic that shows no intellect! YEY!  
  
Shikamaru: *looks to her* Why am I always starting off your fics? -_-  
  
Me: *glomps him*  
  
Shikamaru: Get off of me! I don't want any fangirls!  
  
Me: Oh don't worry! I love you and Neji equally! ^^  
  
Shikamaru: But you're still going to harass me... aren't you -_-  
  
Me: *laughs manically* oh well...  
  
Neji: *walks over* Um... what's going on here?  
  
Shikamaru: Run, stupid Hyuuga, run while you have a ch-  
  
Me: *slaps tape over Shikamaru's mouth and ties him to a chair* Teeheehee.... No need to make the poor boy run away...  
  
Neji: *shivers*  
  
(Someplace else) *ear shattering scream is heard*  
  
Naruto: You hear something?  
  
Rest of the cast: Nope.  
  
*********  
  
"SHIKAMARU!!!" Ino screamed at the top of her lungs, her face burning with enragement.  
  
"Nani?" He gave a lazy yawn; a finger was placed in his ear to make sure he was hearing her. He gave a tired yawn, his eyes half closed as he looked at the obnoxious girl standing in front of him.  
  
"WHERE IS EVERYONE!?!?!?" Ino barked loudly, "My precious Sasuke-kun is gone... and I KNOW you have something to do with it."  
  
His eyes finally focused on her and with that he gave an indignant snort, "How the hell am I supposed to know where the hell Sasuke is!"  
  
"And he's not yours... Ino-pig." Sakura appeared from behind Ino. Another typical day seemed to be occurring besides the fact that half the chuuin exams takers were gone.  
  
"Why didn't you disappear? I bet you did something to MY Sasuke-kun..." Ino gave a narrow glare to her ex-best friend.  
  
"He's not yours!" Electric sparks emitted from the two girls fierce looks.  
  
"Ugh! Will you cut it out already?" Shikamaru finally sighed, "I'm going to be late..." He stuffed his hands into his pockets ready to start walking, but before he could take another step two loud stomps rattled the ground. When he looked up from the path he saw probably the most terrifying female faces.  
  
"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING?!?!" They both roared at him, as he shivered, wide-eyed, 'Damn these girls need a break....'  
  
*********  
  
As Shikamaru was being interrogated by the two female Genin, a gathering group of the most unlikely male Genin appeared deep within the forest. A group of them sitting around a fire in a circular pattern. The flames flickered off of their faces as the sun started to set into the depths of the mountains.  
  
"Why are we doing this again?" Sasuke cocked a suspicious eyebrow at the snickering Naruto.  
  
"Cause unless Kakashi-sensei is planning on giving us a really awesome mission, there's nothing fun to do!" He was crouching down and he whispered something to Kiba.  
  
"Ha-ha... this'll be way more interesting!" He laughed back with a large grin, as Akamaru yelped excitedly.  
  
"This is so stupid..." Neji sighed. He was lying on his back, twirling a kunai on his fingers boredly. The last place he wanted to be was here, but even though he didn't admit to it, it would be interesting.  
  
"Let's just forget about it..." Sasuke sighed, resting his head on his hands.  
  
"I would think, you, out of all people would love this... com'on Sasuke, we know you can't stand all those girls hanging on you like that..." Naruto patted Sasuke on the back, as Sasuke gave him somewhat of a death glare that made Naruto step back.  
  
"Although I would like it." Kiba gave a sly grin. After everyone fell quiet you could hear Chouji munching on some random snack.  
  
"Hey Chouji, where's Shikamaru...?" Naruto turned his head backwards to see Chouji sitting somewhat off to the side.  
  
"Ino probably got to him... he's always late and they probably figured out we've been gone... Ya know... Ino, the Sasuke 'patrol'" Chouji added right after he swallowed.  
  
"It's a shame that I cannot show-off my boyish charm to Sakura-chan and ask her to the dance... it'll break her heart," Lee swooned dramatically as everyone else stared at him as though he was an alien from another planet.  
  
"You... keep telling yourself that...." Neji nodded and then turned back to the group slowly.  
  
"I heard that this white day celebration is going to be really big since we finally have peace... and no Anbu needed at all. But it's going to be irritating, do we really have to ask out the girls by the end of the month?" Everyone turned their heads to see an exasperated Shikamaru.  
  
"What happened?" Naruto asked, seeing just how tired Shikamaru was from escaping the clutches of the girls.  
  
"Ino and Sakura... they think I know where Sasuke is or something... I ran... ran the hell away." Shikamaru sunk to the ground leaning against a tree, still breathing heavily, "They really deserve this..."  
  
"So exactly... how do we decide?" Kiba turned to Naruto, panting as heavily as Akamaru would in heat, from excitement.  
  
"This." Naruto help up a paper bag grinning wider than ever, I hope I get Sasuke... then I can ask Sakura to the dance!  
  
"Wow... a bag with slips of paper... how amusing..." Neji sighed sarcastically; he folded his arms behind his head, as Naruto went around from person to person. They slowly shuffled the slips inside the bag and pulled out a random slip.  
  
"Okay... so now we don't get confused, I'll make a list." Naruto pulled out a pen and gave laugh, crouching down.  
  
"You sure you won't lose it?" Shikamaru gave Naruto a funny look. At the same time everyone unfolded the little slips and Naruto looked at all of them and then volunteered to read his off first, "Kiba..." He noted. That would be interesting, especially when he'd have Hinata as a teammate, and she... he couldn't figure out. He only wondered who got Sasuke.  
  
"Sasuke..." Shikamaru groaned, "God... I'll have a group of stalkers... how bothersome..." Naruto, Kiba and Chouji added a 'poor you' laugh as Lee looked up at his rival.  
  
"Lee..." Neji said with someone of an unreadable look, basically meaning that he wasn't particularly happy of his pick but it didn't much matter because they already agreed that they couldn't change it.  
  
"And I got... Neji." Lee looked up at Neji with lowered eyes, clenching his fist as he yelled, "Haha! I get to be the strong one! The only cruelty is that I won't be in my beautiful body. I bet Neji won't be able to keep up with the wonderful Gai-sensei's teachings... I shall miss them so!"  
  
"Um...Lee..." Neji looked back at him with an angry stare, "You realize we can hear you? "  
  
"What! My rival can read my mind! Nooo!!" Lee ran around in circles, "I must train harder!" Everyone stared blankly at 'thick-brows' not even bothering to realize that he in fact was speaking out loud.  
  
"Naru...to..." Sasuke glared at his fellow teammate. This would be more or less interesting in a way. Everyone else read the names off one by one, Kiba becoming Shikamaru, Chouji took the role of Shino and Shino took the role of Chouji. It was pretty simple and they couldn't wait till they could find out just how the girls would react. They all transformed into the name of the person that was on their list  
  
"Alright! We leave here to enter the other's house! Plan starts now!" And with that being said, the new Kiba grinned excitingly and threw a fist up to the air and everyone departed home, ready for the next day to start.  
  
********* Me: R&R... OR ELSE. I'LL SIC ITACHI ON YOU ALL!!!  
  
Sasuke: Do you even have that kind of power...?  
  
Me: Who is the authoress... and remember... the power of my shoujo romance desires ^^  
  
Sasuke: Crap.... What are you going to do to me?  
  
Me: You'll see! ^^ 


	2. Getting Adjusted

Me: Sorry about the Lee thing! My mistake, we'll just pretend someone else helped him change! *sweatdrop* and by the way, I will say the character as who they really are, but just remember that they're in someone else's place!  
  
Cast: -_- baka  
  
Me: I also took so long to update because I lost this chapter and it somehow got erased... I then had to redo it... *cries*  
  
Cast: -_- *chou baka...  
  
Me: *glares at them* **USERU!!!  
  
Cast: O.o  
  
Tenten: I'm afraid to ask her what happened to Neji and Shikamaru...  
  
Sakura and Ino: *think what they would have done with Sasuke* hmmm.... I think I know where they are...  
  
Me:*runs by them* La! *bounces around and pulls out her sword* Shiny! ^^ *runs into the Konohagure swinging it to and fro*  
  
Kiba: Crap, we gotta stop her!  
  
Sakura: Otherwise it'll be the next Uchiha Massacre!  
  
Sasuke: -_- That's.... not funny....  
  
((Just had a fencing competition and all worn out, yet strangely... hyper... *shrugs* oh well...))  
  
***** "I'm hungry!" Chouji groaned as searched around for food. Naruto grabbed the large collar that concealed Chouji's grinning face, a look that would not fit Shino whatsoever.  
  
"Now remember, Chouji... you have to act like Shino." Naruto tried to manage a whisper into the Shino "look-alike'"s ear.  
  
Akamaru followed slowly behind, whimpering... he missed the old Kiba. Naruto picked up Akamaru, who at that point started to bark loudly. Naruto glared at the dog to shut up, but at that point Akamaru got out of the painful grasp to bite at Naruto's hand.  
  
"OWWW!!!" Naruto winced as he shook his hand back and forth. "Stupid mutt..."he grumbled, taking out his pack of bandages, as Akamaru looked very pleased with himself.  
  
Chouji laughed and then sighed, realizing Shino never DOES laugh. To the best of his ability he tried to keep a straight face and stood up, putting his hands in his pockets, constantly trying to ignore his grumbling stomach. He felt nervous about training. In some way they would have to get out of it. After all, it wouldn't be easy faking all those bugs. He wasn't the best at other's bloodline techniques... well obviously. Naruto grinned. He wished he could have still been close to Sakura, but Kiba was easy. He just had to be even more obnoxious, as he put it.  
  
Kurenai saw the two fidgeting boys, and raised a curious eyebrow. At that moment she was able to see through the Ninjutsu and shook her head from side to side. Why Naruto and Chouji she wondered, was Hinata doing it too? She decided to play along for a while as then walked up to them.  
  
"Hey guys." She added in an efficient tone. Naruto's eyes were filled with shock. He was so used to Kakashi being late that he was planning for a few minutes to get adjusted. In fact, she was EARLY!  
  
"What's going on?" A grin crept along the Jounin's face.  
  
"Nothing! Nothing at all! Hehe...." Naruto shivered nervously, shaking his now bandaged hand.  
  
"What h...happened Kiba... are y...you okay?" Hinata mumbled as she approached the group.  
  
"Uhh... haha! I accidentally cut it, but its fine! No! The dog didn't bite me!" Naruto laughed haughtily. Chouji sighed to himself, 'baka' Hinata, strangely enough didn't take much notice to Naruto's statement and then she turned to Kurenai instead and bowed,  
  
"***Osoku nante... summimasen..."Hinata mumbled shyly. Kurenai laughed and nodded,  
  
"It's okay Hinata, I was early," She knew at that very instant that she was in fact talking to the real Hinata, "Well... how about we all do simple missions today... Hokage said it's been pretty slow lately, so our missions will just be basically simple."  
  
"So... so, what are we going to do?" Naruto groaned, even though he'd have to fake being Kiba, he would have preferred a tough mission.  
  
"I think we're babysitting the 3rd's grandson." Kurenai noted looking up to the sky.  
  
"No! I don't want to watch that runt! He's going to make me play ninja with him again..." Naruto moaned, head dropping.  
  
"Since when have you known the grandson of the 3rd?" Kurenai grinned slyly and then added, "And playing ninja? Aren't you one already?" Naruto glared at his now sensei, clenching his fists, his cheeks turning slightly red.  
  
"Kiba... it will be okay... they... won't be so bad... I'll play with them instead of you... if you want." Hinata offered softly. Naruto turned his head to the side. She was acting... so normal... it was weird, like she was being casual compared to her usual self. Maybe it was just that she didn't like him that much.  
  
*****  
  
"Shikamaru... you're so... hyper..." Ino stared wide eyed at the eager Shikamaru... Shikamaru was NOT eager for anything. Asuma shrugged and added,  
  
"I think his mother drugged him...." He already knew quite well that the oddly obsequious Chouji and then mission-enthusiastic Shikamaru were already some one else, but he decided to play along, after all, at least Ino was the same Ino. Also, Shikamaru really didn't train with the groups anyway... this was just another congratulations breakfast for the successful retrieval of Sasuke. He lit his cigarette and stared blankly at the sky.  
  
"Yes... Asuma-sensei should really be one to talk about being on drugs..." Ino mumbled to herself, for Kiba he was happy to know that she turned her attention to something else for the time being.  
  
Kiba didn't exactly understand as to why they thought it was so odd that he was excited to wake up early and start possibly a mission. Did Shikamaru not like to do them? He didn't pay much attention to the boy in the first place so acting like him... would be hard. He then remembered that Shikamaru, from his fight was very, lazy... to say the least and pretty much pessimistic. He really only knew Shikamaru from the retrieval and he was acting a bit out of character... more serious that Shikamaru had known to be. He tried to change his look a bit, after all, usually Shikamaru had lazy eyes... not bouncing eyes full that look like he just got high on god knows what.  
  
"Okay... so we're off to breakfast!" Asuma announced in an excited yet relaxed tone. Ino waited for an excited response from Chouji, where instead he just shrugged.  
  
"Chouji, have you finally decided to go on a diet or something? You're not as excited about food as you usually are." Ino sneered at him.  
  
"..." Shino just ignored her and just followed Asuma down that path.  
  
"Fiiine! Give me the silent treatment will you? Gawd! This is some pretty damn evil dream if you ask me!" She groaned loudly to the point where everyone just stared at her.  
  
**** *Chou Baka: Super Idiot, (taken from the show)  
  
** Useru: Slang way of saying shut-up.  
  
***Osoku nante sumimasen: I'm sorry I'm late.  
  
**** Me: Bleach. Well that sucked...  
  
Sakura: What is this heightened compulsion with using Japanese in your fics?  
  
Me: It's practice for me and for the readers! ^^  
  
Sakura: Liar. You just want to show off. And what's with not putting me in this chapter?  
  
Me: *grins* ooh... well a, I do NOT want to show off, if you ask my friends I always speech Japanglish, and b, I'm going to make your life a living hell... remember who is your sweet Sasuke-kun?  
  
Sakura: O.o *cries* 


	3. Arosing Suspicions

Me: shivers  
  
Kiba: What's the problem now?  
  
Me: O.o Anyone who was reading this fic is gonna kill me...  
  
Kiba: And why is that?  
  
Me: I haven't updated in forever... cringes  
  
Kiba: blank stare weakling.  
  
Me: disappears for a second and reappears doing a flying roundhouse  
  
Kiba: ends up on the floor dammit.  
  
Me: smug grin and yawns mockingly I knew that would come in handy...   
  
Kiba: The thing that worries me is she might do it at school...  
  
It was a pain. Shikamaru stalked out of Sasuke's house. It was also his first experience not being woken up by his mother's yells, but by an alarm clock. He knew he had to try a bit to stay in character, so although he usually slept late and managed to still get there on time, he tried especially hard to get there early. Obviously, he never had Kakashi as a teacher... or Sakura as a teammate, when he's a Sasuke look-alike. He tried to fix his posture, but his shoulders kept slumping into his normal position. At least Sasuke kept his hands in his pockets like he did. It was then where he saw Sasuke... or more now, Naruto walk up.  
  
"Humph." He added, with a look that did not match Naruto whatsoever, "This is so stupid." He cringed as he heard himself speak in Naruto's voice. He told himself that he had to act as much like Naruto as possible, he felt the urge to do well in this, especially since he wanted to make it almost a challenge for himself, as to how long they could pull this off.  
  
"Hi Sasuke-kun..." Sakura blushed slightly, as Shikamaru looked to her and inside his head, he gave a low sigh, 'I forgot this it what it would be like.'  
  
"Ano sa, ano... sa... Saku...ra...chan." Sasuke tried to act hyperactive, which didn't exactly work. He forced his words as he waved his hand from side to side.  
  
Sakura raised an eyebrow and then smacked Sasuke over the head, "Idiot, what's wrong with you?" She then leaned back against the bridge railing and then clasped her hands together, staring softly at Shikamaru.  
  
"Why won't she stop staring at me?" Shikamaru whispered to Sasuke, shaking slightly. Sasuke sighed and answered in a soft voice,  
  
"She always does that... remember... you're me..." Sasuke added, he was a bit in shock that she hit him. It was hard to think that she could act so differently to another person that it became so drastic. After waiting for about an hour or so, the half-asleep Shikamaru was startled by a loud shriek of rage from the bubblegum-haired girl. "UUUGH!!! Kakashi-sensei! You're late again! What is your excuse this time?!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry... I was taking a lovely walk when I was confronted by Orochimaru's ghost." He smiled, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"LIAR!" She pointed a finger up at him, as Sasuke tried as he could to do so with the equal Naruto enthusiasm.  
  
"Mendokusaina... is he always this late?" Shikamaru asked Sasuke, who couldn't help but be generally pissed that Shikamaru kept asking him questions. Kakashi looked over to the two male genin and blinked for a moment. He couldn't quite figure out what the purpose was so he jumped down from the roof Sakura spotted him standing on.  
  
"Ohayo..." He grinned as usual. Sakura stared at him oddly, "I was thinking about doing some Chakra molding exercises." He looked between Sasuke and Shikamaru, and a loud sigh came from Shikamaru...  
  
"This sucks..." He mumbled under his breath. Then it hit him. Sasuke always insulted Naruto. This was better than he thought. Actually, molding Chakra would be relatively easy for Shikamaru, seeing as how he is naturally the best on his team, probably equal to Sakura if not better.  
  
Upon arriving at the bottom of a waterfall, Kakashi looked up, the sun blazing into his eyes. He took out his book and concealed himself underneath a tree.  
  
"For today, we're going to combine two things you've learned how to do activities such as walking on water and sticking to a tree. This is a more challenging task. The water is rushing against you so you cannot get a running start. The natural chakra flow follows the water. When the water is moving, your Chakra will have a tendency to lead you in the other direction. Plus, the rock surface is very slippery. Start. " He waved his hand with a sigh. He figured out that he would let them do something basic for this week, and the Hokage even offered the suggestion, seeing as how business was extremely slow for the day.  
  
'Be like Naruto... be like Naruto' Sasuke thought carefully to himself. 'Be a clumsy idiot.' He smirked at the thought. He went into the water and gathered as little chakra as possible, "Sakura-chan! Look at me!" He snickered, getting better at acting like the blockhead.  
  
"Naruto! Shuddap! I'm trying to concentrate!" She yelled, but noticed that Naruto was struggling with his words, what was making him so goddamn tongue- tied?  
  
Sasuke started to run and then automatically slipped about two seconds after trying to make an impact in the wall. Sakura, upon looking at this thought simply, 'He's having an off day.. .he's usually better at this...' She gathered her chakra carefully, and only concentrated on it. She then slowly started to trudge her way, up. It initially was hard, but it gradually became easier, she made it about 3 quarters of the way up when she heard Kakashi answer,  
  
"Well done Sasuke." She looked up at the more than usual, relaxed Sasuke. When did he improve so much. She did like him, this was true, but it hurt her heart that now he was even better than her at gathering Chakra... now what was she going to be good at? Her inner Sakura burned inside, but instead, she slowly reached the top and responded, cupping her hands together.  
  
"Wow Sasuke! That was amazing!" She squealed. Shikamaru paused for a second. It was weird getting used to this. He has never been cheered on for something so effortless...  
  
"Hmph." He answered sticking his hands in his pockets and went to sit at the edge of the bank. About a couple hours later, Sasuke finally made it up the waterfall. Of course, he was just doing this to be like Naruto, yet he probably didn't realize he was overdoing it.  
  
"Dobe." Shikamaru snarled to Sasuke. As Sasuke twitched irritably, that was his saying, Shikamaru was gloating inside himself. Although he would never admit it, he was jealous of Sasuke's popularity or more of just irritated by it. Whichever one it was, it didn't really matter.  
  
Sakura looked at Sasuke with a funny face. Something must have been occupying him. Since when was Naruto, quiet? Suspicion rose in her mind, and the careless way Sasuke got up the waterfall, was so effortlessly. Something was up and she was going to find out just what it was. Her inner laughed wickedly as though she became an evil demon. She smirked and then as she noticed now everyone paying attention to the unusually quiet Sakura she slightly blushed.  
  
Lee: Well that sucked...  
  
Me: twitch And... WHY is that?  
  
Lee: grinns Neither Gai nor I were in it!  
  
Me: But you're not on team 7.... -- blinks  
  
Lee: Oh cruel world! Why am I a year older than Sakura-chan!?  
  
Me: sweatdrop I'm not even going to try... walks away emotionlessly 


End file.
